Thursday, February 19, 2009

"Different Ways" - Children of famous Chassidim abandoning Religion

B"H

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch once wrote a commentary of why Esav and Yaakov turned out in such different ways. As we all know, Esav was a Rasha (evil person) and Yaakov was a Zaddik (righteous). Here, Rabbi Hirsch makes an extremely courageous and unique statement:
If Yitzchak and Rivka (Rebecca) had, at an early stage, realized that each child needs special attention, education and upbringing, then maybe they would have raised Esav in a different way. Whereas Yaakov was the study type, Esav loved to run around in the fields; a rather wild character. And according to Rabbi Hirsch, Esav should have not been forced into the study hall but should have done something more practical instead in order to satisfy his needs. Physical work, sports, etc.

Without criticizing Yitzchak raising his sons, children turn to be out different and not always the same, and a parent should realize the weaknesses and strength of a child and react in a proper way.
The question is if a different education could have prevented Esav from turning out to become a Rasha ? An interesting question, however, although it is unlikely that we get the right answer.

In Jewish history, our forefathers, famous rabbis and sages always had children who didn't turn out too righteous. At least not as pious as their parents used to be. I found some interesting remarks in David Assaf's book "Ne'echaz Basbach" where he, among other topics, describes the crisis in Chassidut. Particularly concerning the sons of different famous chassidic Rabbis.

Chassidut has many positive and admirable sides but, unfortunately, not everything was so great and perfect as it may should have been. Right after the Baal Shem Tov passed away, the first fights among his followers came up and different conflicts started. And, as I already said, having a great famous Rabbis as a parent doesn't mean a guarantee for perfect children.

Already the founder of Chabad, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, 1745 - 1812, had problems with his youngest son Moshe who converted to Christianity.

The son of Israel of Ruzhin, 1797 - 1851, went astray as well. His son Dov Baer of Leove, 1817 - 1876, got already married at the age of 14. His wife was Sheindel, the daughter of Rabbi Mordechai Twersky of Chernobyl, but it was not a happy marriage. After moving to different places and the death of his father, he was taken to Sadigura and some people spread the rumor that he was held as a prisoner by his brother. After Dov Baer came to live in Czernowitz, he declared in 1869, that he "wished to eliminate the foolish customs that have no basis in Judaism and to remove the thorns from the vineyard of the House of Israel". He decided to join the Maskilim (Enlightenment). Until his death he lived in Sadigura, deserted by his wife and ignored by his brothers and his former students.

The next case is Yechezkel, the son Rabbi Aryeh Leib of Kozmir. Also Yechezkel left religion and even changed his name into "Stanilaus Hoga".

The brother - in - law of Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heshel of Apta, and son of Rabbi Chaim Tirer of Czernowitz, Kalman Kalonymus, became an apikoret (heretic). He started playing cards, ate treife (non - kosher) food, and was eventually forced to divorce his wife Yocheved, the sister of the Apta (Opatov) Rebbe.

Me'ir, the son of the Hungarian Zaddik, Rabbi Yitzchak Eisik of Kalov, seemingly started to become secular after the death of his father.

There are many more other examples and we see that no family in this world is perfect. It may not always be the right / wrong way of upbringing and education; many Jews are looking for something more open - minded and simply have enough of their strict upbringing and all the rules. I am sure that there are different reasons and it is important for us to realize that not everyone is walking into ONE direction or is expressing oneselve in only ONE way. Not every human is the same and it is wrong putting or forcing people into certain societies or positions where they don't belong.

A few months ago, an elderly lady from Karlin - Stolin told me that in Stolin they try to raise the children according to their needs and various characters. However, to strengthen the ways and in order not to let young Chassidim go astray, the families marry them off at the young age of 18. "Then they have a family and don't think about running away anymore", so the woman said.

For some people this may turn out right but for others it might end as a disaster.

2 comments:

  1. Esav was certainly more gracious than Jacob and show more human kindness than Jacob deserved given the fact Jacob steals his birthright years later Jacob try's to buy him off and poor Esav is made the father of the Romans and Christens. I have always felt sorry for the branding he was given by the early publicist From my point of view I think he was given a bum rap.

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  2. B"H

    Our commentators actually say that Esav was unworthy of receiving the right of the firstborn; the Midrash says that he was a robber (a highway man), a rapist and a murderer (he killed Nimrod). As soon as he saw his father Yitzchak, he was friendly and played a game in order to make his father loving him. Outside, Esav was a mess.

    Rivka (Rebecca) saw what was going on, as she had grown up in a house full of actors (in Lavan's house). Thus, she knew exactly what Esav was up to and made Yaakov to dress up as Esav and get the blessing from his father.

    His grandson Amalek just wanted to destroy the Jews because they are Jews and for no other prupose. This is why his branch of the family is seen as evil.

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