Thursday, April 10, 2008

It all depends on the mood

B"H

Religion should never depend on one's mood. It is impossible leading a religious life today and tomorrow you do the opposite. Today I am in the mood and tomorrow I am not. Let's wait and see what I am up to the day after tomorrow.

Many people convert to Judaism because they are just in the mood or it seems a fashion to them. Judaism is IN and therefore, I want to be a part of it. But they make the mistake and don't realize the consequences. However, my intention is not to write about such irresponsible cases but rather about religious Jews who are sometimes simply fed up. Too much society pressure and / or those who put too much pressure / expectations upon themselves.

Is it really possible to take a break from religion ? Only for a short period of time and devote your life to other things ?
Every time I am leaving Jerusalem, I am seeing myself confronted with this question. Religious Jews in Jerusalem are always involved somewhere in their own environment. It doesn't matter if someone is Haredi or National Religious; each of them is more or less involved and can hardly escape. The worst is when you are married. In this case, you cannot just decided to take a short break from religion. What would your spouse say ?

An important chassidic concept is fulfilling the Mitzwot (Torah laws) with joy. Kabbalistic literature even mentions different kinds of levels you can reach by keeping Mitzwot. It all depends on your intention; are you doing it out of fear of G – d, because you want to do someone a favour, you do it because you are used to or you do it out of joy and love of G – d ?

Rabbi Nachman von Breslov (1772 - 1820) claimed that one who is not in a good mood today should force himself being joyful. If you just force yourself long enough, you might end up joyful.
But does this concept always work ? What happens if I have had really enough at the moment ? At least for now. Do I then need to force myself into something or wouldn't it be better to take a break ?

Both suggestions are right. Basically it is never wrong gaining a certain distance and this doesn't automatically mean that you are escaping from G – d let alone "off the derech". You can go to the beach but still say the Berachot (blessings) over your food. Not rushing to the synagogue on time doesn't mean that now you are falling into the depths of secularism.

Maybe the best way is finding a certain balance. Of course, many religious Jews such as Chassidim (not necessarily Chabad or Breslov but more closed groups) cannot keep a distance, as they are around the clock involved in community or further religious matters. Distance between Yeshiva and familiy ? In reality this is only a dream.

My personal solution might sound controversial but I think that sometimes it is better to take a break from religion; just in order to gain a distance and then returning with much more joy and energy. There are times when you need to think of something else and get a clear mind. Then you can start rethinking everything and realize what your goal is. But it can also be the case that someone decides to force himself just like Rabbi Nachman of Breslov suggested. Both aspects do depend very much on someone's personal situation, and only force doesn't always help.

One experience I am having over and over again:
You can always take a break but never ever really escape. On too many occasions religious thoughts and Mitzwot enter my mind. Usually this occurs automatically without me pushing it away, as I don't want to push it away.

2 comments:

  1. what about pirkey avot that says don't say I will sin today and do teshuvah tomorrow because maybe you won't have a chance tomorrow
    if like you say to take a break for awhile you might not get the chance to do teshuva or you might get stuck in your back mode.
    Rebbe Nachman says sometimes you fall and that is to make you get even higher but to voluntarily fall.

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  2. B"H

    I admit that there are dangers in taking a break. The worst case could be when you start to like your new ways and then Teshuva might take much longer.

    But sometimes taking a break doesn't always mean doing no Mitzwot at all. Maybe not so intense you you don't run for everything.

    Furthermore, taking a break means getting away from strict society for a while. Meeting and talking to other religious people who do not necessarily belong to one's group.

    But you are right. Hopefully such people will also find their way back.

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